What if the Embryo Transfer doesn’t stick?

04 Oct What if the Embryo Transfer doesn’t stick?

Hip-Hip Hooray it’s Transfer Day! 

Wake,Pray, Transfer day!

Sticky vibes!

We have all seen the shirts, heard the phrases, and prayed the prayers. But what do you say or do when the embryo doesn’t stick? 

Unfortunately it does happen, and the most important thing to know is that it is no one’s fault. There is nothing anyone can do to cause an embryo to stick (or not stick).

There are things your fertility doctor will recommend you to do to assist in making transfer conditions optimal, but at the end of the day nature will always take its course. 

For a surrogate, they feel they failed their intended parents, and their dreams of becoming parents are broken because of something they did (or didn’t) do. 

It’s important to let your surrogate know that you don’t blame them and it’s not their fault. Of course feeling frustrated, sad, or even mad is acceptable, but to take it out on your surrogate is not helpful and could only harm your relationship. 

For intended parents, they feel their hope for parenthood is shattered.

It would be helpful for surrogates to acknowledge how hard this news is for intended parents, and that you are ready to try again whenever they are. Validating their feelings while also providing continued hope will go a long way with your intended parents. 

No matter what you are feeling, it’s imperative to communicate your feelings with your support team and your intended parents/surrogate.If you are not comfortable talking with your IPs, talk to your case psychologist or agency.  Do not struggle alone. 

While it’s healthy to express your feelings, it’s important to not cast blame on each other. Both intended parents, and surrogate will feel negatively about the transfer, but creating resentment or anger between the parties is not healthy for anyone involved. 

If the intended parents have more embryos to transfer, the good news is that another transfer can be scheduled quickly. 

Most surrogacy contracts include a clause covering this exact scenario, and allow for multiple embryo transfers with the same surrogate (if the IPs wish to continue with the same surrogate).

For Intended Parents without extra embryos, your contract may include a clause allowing the IPs to create (or find) more embryos to use with the same surrogate. 

Be sure to understand you and your surrogate’s rights as covered in your contract before a transfer.

There’s no right or wrong way to navigate a failed transfer, but know you are not alone. We at Surrogacy Partnership want to help you through this process no matter what the situation calls for. Please reach out to us for anything!